Thursday, May 22, 2014

Life and Death

Life and Death
  WOW. I am left speechless. I do not know where even to begin or how to put down the thoughts that are swimming like crazy in my head. All I can say is God is an amazing God, and he controls what happens.
  I was eating breakfast at the counter. Mama was on the computer reading things. Sister were doing their things. I looked to my mother’s direction. Her eyes got big, her eyebrows went down, and her hand quickly came up to cover her math. She had obviously read something of facebook that was shocking. Then I saw the water in her eyes as she got up. I knew something was wrong. She turned around again after she heard the ding on facebook, and read more. I had no idea what was wrong, but I knew it was something. I came over and gave her hug. I held tight and didn’t want to let go. Momentary, mama told me the news.
  “Our friends the Halls, just lost their oldest son to a car accident.”
  I held her even more tightly as she tried to take a deep breath.
  Later on we found out that our other friends, had lost their new baby girl after two days of life.
  I did not know Taylor Hall, but my parents did, my brother Marcus did, the Darwins did, the Ritchies did, and so many others. But I felt their pain and grief. I saw the hurt in my mother’s eyes, because she had lost someone she had known since he was 9 years old.
I felt Mr. Ritchie’s heavy heart as he tried to teach the lesson at our youth group. He was so shocked. His question to me during the lesson was, “Erika, do you ever doubt?” I told him yes. “What did you say to yourself when you ask that question?”  I thought about it for a few you seconds. I looked in his eyes and saw his pain and answered, “ I don’t know.”
After youth group, I saw the love and hug between Mr. and Mrs. Darwin after being shoken up of the death. They meant more to each other now than ever. It made me smile seeing them and gave me a sense of comfort.
To my brother Marcus, who has lost a very close friend. I cannot imagine his heavy heart. I cannot fathom his pain. To him, it was like losing a brother.  The only thing I want to do is give him a hug and tell him that this is for God’s glory.
And to the parents of this young man. To the mother who bore her first child and fed him, to the father who taught his son to ride a bicycle and started him in boy scouts, to the siblings, who have shared memories with him that will last forever. To the wife, when he first looked at you and adored you and to the child who will never be taught how to ride a bike by his father. Your pain must be great and I grieve with all of you for your great loss.
  And to our other friends, who lost their baby girl after two days of life. The pain of a mother, to the loss of her child is something I do not know... I have not experienced losing a child  that was once a part of my body. I have not experienced the kick in the womb, the heart beat, the miracle growing inside of me, and the joy of watching my stomach get bigger so that the baby may grow. I have not had the joy of looking into the eyes of the baby I held in my womb for so long, and then the sorrow of her dying after two days of life. The pain of a father to the loss of his daughter, whom he will never be able to pick up and swing on his back, or take her to her first dance, or show her how to ride a bike, or walk her down the aisle on the day of her wedding and give over to the man that she loves. To the siblings, who waited so long to love her and teach her all they know. They have loved her and will always love her. My reminder to you family, is that this is for God’s glory.

  These are the times when our faith is tested the most. The reminder of how  precious life really is, that once taken, can never be replaced. Those who have it and live a long one, are very blessed. And the reminder of how even the small things in life are very big.
  I have always have the fear of losing a family member to a car accident. Every time my mother goes to the store, I give her a tight hug and remind her how much I love her because I am afraid that she might not come back alive. Every time papa takes one of my sister on a Daddy-daughter date, I get frightened that they might not come back. And there are so many other fears I have that scare me. Death only reminds me of them.
  To the children in this world who have family and loved ones, Give your mom an extra huge and remind her you love her; give your dad that strong hand shake or sit in his lap and tell him how much he means to you. Remember your siblings, even with the things they do to drive you crazy, and how much every one of them affect your life. To Husband, give your wife that extra hug and tell her you love her. To the wife, what would you do without him? Remind him how much he means to you and how thankful you are that God has placed him in your life, tell death you part.  Life is a gift, and those who have it are special.
  I went home that night after youth group, with all this on my mind, wishing I could do something that would make it better. But there isn’t. God gives life and he takes it away. From dirt our bodies came from, to dirt they will go back to. And the reminder of how, this earth is only our temporary home. Those who experience life will also experience death. God will take us home when it's time.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."


Sarah The Dreamer said...

Wow Erika!:) Amazing post!

Muddled Muse said...

*HUGS* to you - your family - and to all in his immediate circle. This came as a huge shock to me - I knew Taylor Hall in high school, albeit not very well. I'm praying for the services this weekend - that there will be peace that passes understanding.

Robin said...


This was so sweet, and wise beyond your years. I'm so glad to know you.


Annie said...

Dear Erika, you write at least as well as your mom does! You really know how to use language to express deep thoughts. You really CAN help people who have experienced this kind of loss. I know because my beloved Russian son died a year or so ago. The way people reached out to express their sorrow; the concrete help they gave; the listening. Just knowing people cared about Ilya and about us was extraordinary. It gave me a whole new level of faith, honestly, because God had poured down His love on me through them. Just in writing this passage you loved. Compassion is never wasted.


what a sweet, wise, touching post. God bless you!